Anniversary

O My God 66th Post

Thesis

So, the anniversary of #METASWAG is on a night like this. I've gotten nine hours of sleep in the past three days. The weekend is only twelve hours away. Twitter and I are restless following the execution of Troy Davis. Reading took up the bulk of my evening.

All of this somehow adding up to the place where I am right now: a good place.

I never really expected this project to take hold of me the way it has. It's more important to me than it has any right to be: something that I cherish and depend on for comfort and relief. Sure, I have a Twitter account that bares the brunt of my dissemination, but it is by no means as rewarding as the extended sit-downs I have with this blog. Here is the space where I construct language more carefully, even if it's to critique a movie or write about Kanye. Here is the space where I get to really engage with my own headspace.

In other words: I love you, #METASWAG!

Reflection

This past year has been one of the most significant of my life. Some things have remained constant (my sleeplessness, my love of Grouper), others have changed (my majors, my facial hair). Not too many surprises there. I'm continuously redefining and reconstructing an identity that suits me in the moment, while noticing that I can't shake some behaviors - I'm still too comfortable around people I barely know, and too removed from people I know best.

Most importantly (on a day-to-day basis for the Self that I do and don't know), I've gone from thinking about different things to thinking differently about things. Which is to say: I've undergone a sort of ideological shift. I'm not seeing with the same eyes I did a year ago.

My hindsight is still nowhere near 20/20. Even if I'm more self-critical (read: hungover shower-cry-singing "Marvins Room" with all the wisdom of a few hard nights), I'm not very self-restrained (read: I keep trying to be that guy at the party). Maybe in another year I'll have constructed a Me that doesn't fear letting others make an impression first. That can ignore anxieties so I can help You better. That thinks more carefully about words before using them.

Or maybe I can take my time with Me and continue to blog like it's the only thing that matters.

#TYBG

By the way, thank You. For reading. Chances are you matter a lot to me. It means something. Have I told you lately? I was probably too busy complaining about the amount of reading I have or screaming the lyrics to "Countdown." Let's just be honest: You're great, whoever You are.

Conclusions

Here I am. Listening to the Garden State soundtrack (so help me Based God, I didn't even disable scrobbling). Excited to see where the next year takes me. More excited to sleep. Goodnight, fam.

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