Rapture

I N T R O S P E C T I O N

Thesis

Existential crises are cool in the summer, because you can have them in the sun. This is the first real blog of the summer, one that has come on the heels of hefty reading, lots of Netflix instant-streaming, and a fair amount of self-examination.

#SUMMER

I've tried to keep myself busy (and my business varied), which has resulted in a ridiculous number of #tagged summer themes this year:

> Ambitious Summer 2011 (because I'm working on myself a lot)

> Nerd Summer 2011 (because I'm playing D&D and writing X-Men fanfic)

> Smart Summer 2011 (because I'm reading lots of feminist and social theory)

> Productive Summer 2011 (because I'm organizing FACIU with other feminists)

> Metal Summer 2011 (because I'm listening to lots of Liturgy and Krallice)

> Cartoon Summer 2011 (because I'm watching cartoons with Ted online)

Real Talk

Most of all, as I've discussed with RZA, this has been a summer for thinking about myself and what I do (which doesn't mean I've become a better person; how do you do that?). I'm just tryna take my thoughts and words into more careful consideration, because language is everything, because I want to perform a different sort of identity, because I've all-too-often been an unwitting annoyance (I'm probably talking to you).

This has meant, of course, wondering why I blog. For the most part, it's to get attention. I want my friends and others to read what I write. I've come to enjoy writing, and especially writing when I know others can comment on it, respond to it, acknowledge it. So I blog to seem eclectic and different and interesting and smart, but also because it's fun. Right? I've also questioned where the voice in which I write comes from. That one's a real head-scratcher. This isn't how I talk in person (duh, because this is written). But this isn't how I write papers for school, or how I write in my diary, or how I write on forums, or how I write on Twitter. #METASWAG writing feels more conversational, affectedly intellectual, self-deprecating and self-aware, but still self-serious. Right?

I wonder if people who talk to me on a daily basis would recognize the voice that has been developed and is developing on this blog. I'd hope something of the personality I perform regularly is noticeable here, but there's no guaranteeing that (especially given the different ways I act around different people).

Funny enough, my writing that is most masturbatory (music reviews) is the writing that I enjoy the most and have written even when I didn't expect anyone to read it. I've also realized it's my most inaccessibly writing, because it isn't really written for any audience but myself. Then again, it is, because it's published on this blog. Contradictions.

Conclusions

I guess I haven't come to any. It's a process, fam. The next blog (hopefully before the end of May, so my monthly tally doesn't reveal serious slacking on my part) will feature more conventional topics, like what I've been reading, listening to, and watching. Why do I feel compelled to write about all this stuff?

tl;dr I BLOG BECAUSE I DO

Before You Go, Enjoy My Latest Obsession